Monday, August 24, 2009

It's not easy to be at where i am today, to have what i'm having right now.. I will do anything to preserve and protect myself and what i'm having. I mean, ANYTHING ! even if i would hav to lose a best friend.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A letter written to Nobody

To: Anyone who cares


Today i experienced it again. I knew it never goes away until I step out to work but truly i never thought it would be Audit. Spent 1 and a half day studying F7 and had emotion's breakdown on the exam day itself i still able to pass whereas spending most of my time trying to get hold of the subject, asking around for good lecturer's notes and went attending revision class in other college still couldn't result me in passing this paper, he is not kind enough..he wasnt willing to give in, not even one mark.

I remember Miss Kiran (my ex lecturer for Audit) used to say.. "If u make fundamental errors in the exam..the marker is not going to make you pass, even when they're reviewing your paper for the second time, third time or moreeee... U can't make fundamental error in ur exam! NEVER!". Her voice, her statement stroke my heart so deeply that day itself and i think i will remember it for life. Well, i don't know what kind of fundamental error i've made, since ACCA never allowed students to review their own papers. But what is done is done...

So many people comforted me by saying i only failed by one mark. Even Ethan called me all the way from UK. Really felt like wanna cry when i received his call and heard his voice this afternoon.... But, what i think is fail, 49marks or 1mark, it has got no difference to me at all!!! so pls... Stop saying all the bullshit stuff. Sorry to be rude, but im sure u're close enough to understand how i feel. If you don't, doesnt matter. I dun give a damn to what other people say.

My heart is stoned. Never will i feel any sadness or disappointment or happiness about results anymore..I just want to get done with all of them, and leave this place...

Ohya, someone was trying to get on my nerve just now ! PLS don't mix up my studies and relationship. What I'm having and the outcome of my exam has got nothing to do with each other at all! Don't make ur own judgement! And if you're sick of seeing people having their own xing fu, then kindly stay away..I don't mind.

I walked alone. I'm still walking alone...
no worries be happy


Thursday, August 6, 2009


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Blue Sky!

Just when you think that it is the end of the misery, it is actually the start of another. Just when you think that nothing could stand in the way to your future happiness, you yourself stop a little and look back to the past. The past is scary as it tends to hold you back from moving forward. Just when you make up your mind and decided to move on, you'll question yourself, what if those quarrels, those mistrust, those arguments did not take place years ago...months ago, where will you be and who is the one beside you right now.

People come and go. Friends come and leave. And i think thats the thing that keep me going, coz i know i'll be meeting new friends. Though sometimes i'll have to lose the old ones in order to get the new ones. But thats the way it is, something need to be given up in order to get something else. I don't hold friends back, if you decide to leave my circle, i'm totally fine with it, for i know it's easy for me to make friends. Unfortunately, you did not realise you're actually buidling a wall around yourself and keeping yourself inside, disallowing people to enter, and not that people do not care about you anymore.

As i said, Bf is not everything. What is life if there's only a Bf and no friends? What is life when your best friend leaves you alone because he/she thinks that it's enough of you having your darling beside? What is life when your friends think that you need them no more for having a Bf? Friends who still stay close, i'm glad that you do so...and i really appreciate that.

One can't be letting the emo-ness to control what one does and says. Gotta start from somewhere and learn to realise most problems can be solved with a lil thoughts...... Learn to dwell on it than to compare and think things over and over again which is of no use at all.

This is a post written in a very relaxed and pleasant mind. Not pointing my finger to any particular person. In fact, this sets as a reminder to myself as well.

Today, in every way, my life is getting better and better... And i'm sure yours will be the same way too~ Live life well. Cheers..