Monday, November 30, 2009

Unreasonably Reasonable

I don't know how i should be feeling right now. I must admit I do know the presence of the disc, which contain the special video she made for him 2 years back. I must agree that what is past is past. However i still can't help but feelin upset to realise he is still using the first present she gave to him back then when they were still togetha. I rather i didn't press the 'play' button just now zzz

To compare the past to the present is just like to take a blade and cut to your skin slowly. The pain doesn't occur instantly though. It should not be done, but unconsciously you would have done that. wth. Whyyyyy must it be NOW to find out the disc? Now, as in 1 week to final?

oh well i know im being unreasonably reasonable, so u aint suppose to comment. Ciao.

Monday, November 23, 2009

To Liyun Darl

First thing first, Happy Birthday to u, darl ! You always say nobody celebrate with you on ur birthday coz everyone will be busy preparing for exam at this time every year, which is true, we did not cel with u for the past 2 years. Hmmm.. :)

I still would like to apologise for making the meal a Pizza meal AGAIN despite you telling me you had Pizza the nite before, with ur family. I totally forgotten about it as when i read ur msg last nite, all that i was thinking is to bring you to Shabu Shabu Train today. Im so sorry. Today we actually reached Pyramid at 11 something (to avoid the trouble in choosing dining place everytime we're in pyramid =.=) , and after all the elimination, we ended up with 2 options, which was Papa John and Pasta Zanmai.

When you told me in Popular that you wanna go Pasta Zanmai, my heart was really like.....dropped. Seriously. I wish i made the other decision, but its too late to change plan and everyone was waiting in Papa John with the candles lighten up. =( anyway....

I hope you had a great day! and hope u like the cake. Alice bought from Taipan de, might not be as big as the one from Desa but i think it's nice :)

Just realised we've come so far together. It's almost 3 years now. Soon in the near future i won't be attending the same class with you, hope that we still could meet up as frequent as possible ya.

Darl, believe in urself, do what u think is right. Don't get affected by other people's decision. Im sure you're wise enough to make ur own ones, just that sometimes you're afraid of being alone right? :) take care, n epi burfday again!! hhehe

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Past vs Future. No current.

Very often, when we're in that picture, we couldnt see things clearly. Only until someday in the future when we're no longer in it, we can think things thru more thoroughly. Take a few seconds and look back into your past. Your failed friendships with your besties, failed relationships with your boyfriends/girlfriends, or even spoilt family ties.. Do you still feel the same as how you felt that time, when the whole thing was still fresh in your mind?

If read till here, you're thinking, none of your relationships failed before, then i shall congratulate you. You're one of the very lucky ones. But if you do have had some failed relationships, you surely will agree with me that the pain that was in your heart is no longer there right here, right now.

People used to say, Time can heal everything, every single pain. Is that true? Or is it only a myth that people wrongly believe in all this while? I don't know. Perhaps yes to some of you. But personally, i feel, the issue that made me cried over it days and nights last time is no longer significant in my heart now is because I've accepted it. No doubt, when close friends ask me something about that particular issue or unintentionally brought back that particular memories to me, I do still feel "something", SOUR is the word. But thats all. I won't take another moment thinking about it or upset over it because i have accepted it.

Frankly, every time when i think back about it, i'll sigh to myself. It's a sigh of relief. I feel fortunate that i'm now out of that picture and i'm out of all the miseries that i hardly let go two years back. Don't be overwhelmed by feelings, i should have realised earlier so that i wouldnt had to go thru all the pain and lived in denial for about 1 year after that. And i'm glad i met him after that. That was when i learned to love again, to care again, and to not let the past haunt me all the way.

Everything is supposed to be very fine now because my parents sort of granted me the permission to have a boyfriend...BUT. (Yea, they objected on this previously, especially my mom. I know they are just being concerned and scared that I'll get hurt by bad guys) Every parent is the same anyway :) Yup, i used the word 'suppposed'. Sigh.. I'm in a dilemma. Please bring me outta this. I just want to be happy. Hope later tonight i'll have a good answer to myself after dinner with him.

I'm not afraid to be out of the picture, for i know i'll see more things after that.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Sorry for not updating for quite sometime. Been through some indescribable pain for the past 2 weeks. (regaring my ear if u havent known) But everything is pretty alright now, no more pain at least. The problem is not solved yet though..probably going back to the gp on Wed and shall see how it goes. The last thing i would do is to go to the specialist which will cost me 1k+.

Current location : Sunway College North Building West Wing . hehe i doubt any of you know where is it. Came to college with my laptop and pile of Audit books in a Sunday morning just because hostel line is down again...due to the heavy rain 2 days ago, and it's unfixed till now. Sigh! And another reason of me coming to college is hope i could concentrate better on the books, caz i tend to sleep or watch dramas when im bored studying in hostel =)

Oh ya, last night i found that my flask is gone! I used to put it in the cupboard in the kitchen but i couldn't find it last nite. Stolen by I-dunno-who. Might be hostel cleaner, maintenance staff, or even my own hsemate. Sigh.. When i mentioned i lost something, some of my hsemates told me that they lost some things too! What is this lah.. Should set up surveillance cameras so the culprit can be caught! Hence, the need to buy a new flask later today.

1st of Nov marks the beginning of the last month before my final. I must admit i'm still pretty much relaxed right now. Probably because i'm just taking 2 subjects this semester, one being the one i've sat for. Hardly got the momentum i should have by now. Quite a worrying state. Trying my best to adjust back, and i must say, i cant wait to attend revision classes as i'm dead boring these days. Zzz